How to Hold Space when a loved one dies .
Heather Plett teaches all of us light workers the meaning of Holding Space for a loved one who passes .
Heather Plett explains this really well in her recent blog post .
This is a must read fro all people who are teachers,coach,facilitator healer and light worker .
The highlighted tips of her article are:
- Give people permission to trust their own intuition and wisdom.
- When we were supporting Mom in her final days, we had no experience to rely on, and yet, intuitively, we knew what was needed.
- We knew how to carry her shrinking body to the washroom, we knew how to sit and sing hymns to her, and we knew how to love her.
- We even knew when it was time to inject the medication that would help ease her pain.
- In a very gentle way, Ann let us know that we didn’t need to do things according to some arbitrary health care protocol – we simply needed to trust our intuition and accumulated wisdom from the many years we’d loved Mom.
- Don’t take their power away.
- When we take decision-making power out of people’s hands, we leave them feeling useless and incompetent.
- There may be some times when we need to step in and make hard decisions for other people (ie. when they’re dealing with an addiction and an intervention feels like the only thing that will save them), but in almost every other case, people need the autonomy to make their own choices (even our children).
- Ann knew that we needed to feel empowered in making decisions on our Mom’s behalf, and so she offered support but never tried to direct or control us.
- Create a container for complex emotions, fear, trauma, etc.
- When people feel that they are held in a deeper way than they are used to, they feel safe enough to allow complex emotions to surface that might normally remain hidden.
- Someone who is practiced at holding space knows that this can happen and will be prepared to hold it in a gentle, supportive, and nonjudgmental way.
- The circle becomes the space where people feel safe enough to fall apart without fearing that this will leave them permanently broken or that they will be shamed by others in the room. Someone is always there to offer strength and courage.
- This is not easy work, and it is work that I continue to learn about as I host increasingly more challenging conversations. We cannot do it if we are overly emotional ourselves, if we haven’t done the hard work of looking into
- our own shadow, or if we don’t trust the people we are holding space for. In Ann’s case, she did this by showing up with tenderness, compassion, and confidence.
- If she had shown up in a way that didn’t offer us assurance that she could handle difficult situations or that she was afraid of death, we wouldn’t have been able to trust her as we did.
- Holding space is not something that we can master overnight, or that can be adequately addressed in a list of tips like the ones I’ve just given. It’s a complex practice that evolves as we practice it, and it is unique to each person and each situation.
- Here is the PDF of Heather’s Plett article .
Please share this with all light workers a great read.